Monday, October 26, 2009

Burgundy Revolution: The Movie


A few days ago, I asked the followers of @BoycottSnyder for some help casting my movie. I'm making a horror film set against the backdrop of a professional football team. Burgundy Revolution: The Movie tells the tale of a spoiled, rich psychopath on a team-killing rampage. And now, HateTheOwner.com is proud to announce that we've completed principal casting of Burgundy Revolution: The Movie!

Starring:
Eriq La Salle as Jason Campbell

This suave ex-ER doc will trade the scrubs for a Redskins uniform to play the beleaguered, hand-tied, often-blamed QB of the Redskins. (casted by @orlandowynn)

Bill Paxton as Jim Zorn

His role as "Chet" in Weird Science proved that Paxton is the only man who can pull off the crew-cut necessary to play Zorn.

Bill Cosby and Greg Blache

The Cos is a beloved curmudgeon, just like the Defensive Coordinator of the Redskins. And since Blache has taken a vow of silence, Cosby's expressive eye-rolls will prove invaluable. (casted by @SaveTheSkins)

Steve Buscemi as Vinny Ceratto

Buscemi is the only man with the requisite bug-eyes needed to play the Redskins' Vice President of Football Operations, or whatever they call him now.

Daniel Radcliffe as Daniel Snyder

Although he's a bit old for the role, Radcliffe has experience playing a young, spoiled, rich nerd. (casted by @BurgNGold)

Guest Starring:
Morgan Freeman as Sherman Lewis

Freeman joins the cast as the "Extra Eyes" brought in by Ceratto to right the ship. His role in Million Dollar Baby as a retired ex-boxer should prepare him for this role as a retired ex-coach. (casted by @RegionalCeleb)

William H. Macy as Joe Gibbs

Joe Gibbs is another retiree Snyder covets. In this cameo scene, he rebuffs young Danny Potter's advances at dinner, the night before the Panthers game.

Tom Cruise as Himself

Snyder's BFF for only a few million dollars, Cruise was on hand in Detroit to witness the Redskins loss to the Lions. The Curse of Cruise was born.

Eddie Murphy as Albert Haynesworth

Murphy's experience wearing a fat-suit in films like The Nutty Professor and Norbit make him the obvious choice to play the stamina-challenged Haynesworth. (casted by @DArkMEATHOOK)

If you have any more casting suggestions, leave a comment...

2 comments:

  1. I think we forgot to cast Clinton Portis: Alfonso Ribero (played Carlton Banks).

    ReplyDelete